Am I Relapsing? Signs of Eating Disorder Relapse
Eating disorder recovery is anything but linear. In the expected ups and downs of the process, many individuals find themselves wondering whether they are truly making progress, moving toward recovery, or if the difficult days and inevitable bumps along the way signal a relapse. Because eating disorder thoughts can be deeply deceptive, it is often hard to distinguish between a temporary setback and a true return to the illness.
What is an eating disorder relapse?
An eating disorder relapse is a return to eating disorder thoughts and behaviours as a way of coping with stress, difficult life events, or triggering experiences.
A relapse is more than a difficult day or a temporary increase in eating disorder thoughts and actions. It involves a meaningful return to patterns and behaviours that begin to interfere with recovery and overall wellbeing.
Unfortunately, relapse is common and can occur at any point in recovery- even after long periods of stability and healing.
Some common stressors that can trigger an eating disorder relapse include:
Major life changes and transitions, such as starting university or college, moving homes, changing schools, going through a divorce or separation (your own or your parents’), relocating to a new town or city, starting a new job or leaving one.
Pregnancy and the transition to parenthood.
Infertility.
Grief and loss.
Perimenopause and menopause.
Beginning a new relationship or changes within that relationship.
These experiences can be especially challenging because they often bring significant emotional discomfort, uncertainty, and dysregulation. In moments like these, it can feel difficult to access healthy coping strategies, and the eating disorder may begin to seem like a familiar way to quiet overwhelming thoughts and emotions.
What are the indicators of an eating disorder relapse?
It can be quite difficult to identify an eating disorder relapse at onset, because it often develops gradually and is rarely intentional. One off engagement in the eating disorder can become a slippery slope into relapse. That said, there are clear warning signs and indicators that suggest someone is beginning to relapse.
Signs that may indicate an eating disorder relapse:
Lying about what you did or did not eat.
Making excuses to avoid meals and snacks.
Creating a schedule that regularly conflicts with meals, snacks, and other aspects of recovery.
Moving away from the consistent pattern of meals and snacks that has supported your recovery.
Deviating from the meal plan, food variety, and balanced eating patterns that have helped keep you well.
Reintroducing food rules, such as calorie limits, restricting certain foods, changing portion sizes, delaying meals, or engaging in time-restricted eating.
Re-engaging in eating disorder behaviours, including restriction, purging, laxative use, chewing and spitting, or compulsive exercise.
Increased body checking, body comparison, and body image distress.
Withdrawing from family, friends, hobbies, and activities that bring you joy.
Changes in mood, energy, or physical health.
Downplaying or rationalizing any of these indicators and believing they are “not that big of a deal.”
Emotionally withdrawing and finding it harder to ask for help.
Losing hope in recovery and wondering whether you have failed or whether recovery is possible for you.
A note about relapse signs:
This is not a comprehensive list, but these are some of the most common indicators that someone may be slipping back into eating disorder patterns.
You or your loved one may experience other warning signs not listed here, and that is completely normal. Every eating disorder and every recovery journey is unique to the individual experiencing it.
What do I do if I realize I am relapsing?
The first thing I want to tell you is that relapses are common and happen to many people in this journey. There is actually a great deal of learning and recovery to be found on the other side of a relapse. You learn what tripped you up, what you can do to prevent it next time, and where the gaps were in your recovery so that you can strengthen them.
The magic lies not in never having a hard time or never engaging in the eating disorder, but rather in the resilience and self-awareness to notice what is happening and intentionally choose again. You can always make a different choice, and it is never too late to do so.
Here are some important things to do if you (or a loved one) notice that a relapse is occurring:
Share with a professional and/ or your treatment team.
This is imperative- secrets keep us sick. There is so much shame around relapse and many feel fear that they will disappoint those that have been in their corner. But I promise, there is so much strength in sharing what has been happening, and no professional will feel disappointed that you did so. We are all here to help and support, and any of us who specialize in eating disorder recovery are well aware of all the ups and downs (and everything in between!) that this journey entails.
Share with someone supportive in your life.
This can feel really hard but is incredibly important and protective to do so if you have someone safe to confide in. Whether this person is a partner, parent, close friend, or someone else, letting them know what you are struggling with creates more space for support and accountability and less space for the eating disorder.
Go back to your baseline meal plan and timing.
When I work with nutrition clients in eating disorder recovery, we always build what I call a “baseline” nutrition plan. This includes your go-to meals, portions, and meal timing that you can return to whenever the eating disorder becomes too loud and decision-making around food feels overwhelming.
This is protective, and there is absolutely no shame in returning to what works. In fact, that is exactly what it is there for. Return to your recovery meal plan as often as needed and prioritize your meal timing, even when it feels inconvenient.
If this feels especially difficult, booking some meal support sessions can be an excellent way to regain momentum and consistency.
Notice what triggered you.
This is so important to bring awareness to. When someone shares with me that they have started to engage in their eating disorder again I am always most interested in why. What happened? What was thought or feeling that made the eating disorder seem like the solution?
When we understand the “what,” it becomes much easier to identify the tools, supports, and conversations needed to reduce the likelihood of it happening again.
Reintegrate the healthy coping mechanisms, tools, and supports that may have fallen away.
Perhaps meditation has always helped, but you have not made time for it lately. Maybe firm boundaries around your schedule are essential. Perhaps you have been working too much, not getting any fresh air, staying up too late, or canceling helpful appointments.
Whatever the case, life can easily crowd out the practices and supports that help us feel well. When we notice that this has happened, we can use that awareness to make a different choice.
Remove anything being used to engage in the eating disorder.
If this relapse began with stepping on the scale again, throw it out. If you started using a food scale, get rid of it. If a full-length mirror is fueling excessive body checking, take it down. If certain clothes feel too small or uncomfortable, donate them and choose items that feel more supportive and compassionate on your body right now.
You do not have to play on difficult mode.
Eating disorder recovery is not easy, but the right support can make all the difference. If you would like to connect for a complimentary discovery call to learn what support might look like, we would be happy to speak with you, learn what you are struggling with, and discuss how we can help.
And lastly, please know that even if you are experiencing a relapse, full recovery is absolutely possible.
